I agree with Barb on this one, bluekangaroo. I would definitely insist on postponing for at least a year of total sobriety and a very active treatment program. Please don't think your guy is "different" from the other alcoholics in the world. Read up here today, tomorrow, and the next day on the consistent stories of women married to alcoholics. He is obviously wavering in his program with his desire to remain sober. That alone is a full-time job for an alcoholic. Another thing that is a very good rule to follow is trusting your gut. If you are having doubts, trust them. Don't try to dismiss those "red flags" you are seeing and feeling. It is important to not let yourself "imagine" what life "could" be like if he remained sober, but to see what IS in the here and now. Is this the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, as he is now? Is this man, who he is now, the one you want for the father of YOUR children? I vote on postponement of the wedding, absolutely.