IS this part of my co-dependency or what??
I was just wondering why is it that i cant stand when he is mad at me?? ( my ah)...
Is it because i hate conflict and dont want to deal with it???
Is it co-dependency???? Is it just my personality??
I get knots in my stomache....maybe its because he gets mean sometimes when he's angry......like last night in a ude tone of voice, in front of the girls he told me "stop chomping your gum, i can hear you all the way from here!!"..
and it was because my daughter had asked "why does daddy sleep all the time, it gets me so mad!!".... and i didnt stick up for him....i said "i dont know why...."....and he thinks i should have said "daddy works so much, that's why he's tired"...truth is, i believe he couldnt sleep saturday night because he used and so he was making up the sleep.....its the same behavior from before....
He feels like he doesnt have to do anything else because he works in a stressful job and provides for his family.....he thinks thats enough...and its very hard to try to talk to him about it because he is so defensive about it.
I just feel that he is so inconsiderate...its okay for me to work full-time and come home and continue to work....but for him, its not okay....he doesnt have to do anything...once in a while he will do some things, so i cant say its never...but it is for the most part...i mean even little things like take out the garbage on a regular basis, take out the recycling.....
Maybe im talking here like he is not using,like he shold function like everyone else...but maybe thats because hes been like this for so long....when i wasnt working, i didnt say anything because i had all the tiem to take care of things, but when i did start to work full-time, he didnt pinch in..he was functioning at work, why couldnt he function at home too???
Im so messed up right now...i really dont know if i can handle going thirough this with him again....and having a lifetime of this CR*P..on the other hand going through a seperation/divorce with him, might also kill me.....