New Here
Hi all. I just found out two days ago my husband of 12 yrs is an alcoholic. I'm shocked, but I guess I was more in denial. My husband's father is a recovering alcoholic (sober over 20 years) and my father is still drinking, so we are both very aware of the dangers (or so I thought). He didn't take his first drink until the age of 31, but said he would only drink beer and wasn't at all interested in hard alcohol. It started out slowly, as I saw his drinking progress (hard alcohol) I would talk to him about my fears and anxieties and he always assured me that it wouldn't be a problem. Recently I saw a larger increase in his drinking beer (maybe 6 beers a week or more) and he was acting strange at times. He sometimes had slurred speech, would not seem to focus on what I was telling him or forgetting what I had just said. My suspicions were that he was drinking, but when I'd confront him he said no and gave me either reasonable answers or made me feel that I was judging him. I started to feel like I was going a little crazy, feeling like I was overly paranoid. Thursday I called him during the day to see what he was doing (his office is out of our home) and he didn't sound quite right; slurring, and forgetting what I just said. I made no mention of my concern and decided to drive home. I walked in and he came down to greet me and I flat out asked him to let me smell his breath. Boom, alcohol! I asked him and this time he did not deny it, he as been drinking vodka staight among others. He went on to tell me that he drank frequently during the day while I was at work and would make sure it was early enough that when I would get home for lunch or at the end of the day he would be sober. His other time would be late at night after I would go to sleep. When he did smell like beer I asked how many beer had he been drinking and he said he was only drinkin O'Dules (sp?, non-alcoholic beer). I really had no idea this was going on for 6 years. He said he really only started sneaking it in the last year or so. Everything i thought was true turns out to be a lie and i am having a difficult time. He said he is no longer going to drink and realizes what a mistake it is. He has told his parents and vows to never take another drink again. I want to believe him, but I'm so hurt and angry. I can't trust him. More than the drinking it is his lying that I can't seem to get past. I'm lost and feel alone without anyone to talk to. This is why I'm here. Sorry for the very long post. Any words of encouragement and support would be most appreciated. I love my husband and want to help him and want to work things out, but my fear and anger are a bit over powering right now. Thanks for listening.