I have a big disagreement with this in stage 7: you reach a stage of realization that there was nothing you could have done to help or prevent the nightmare that you just lived through
To the contrary, the healthier I get, the more I see where and how I could have taken control of my life and prevented or stopped the majority of the nightmare I went through. I think the way stage 7 is worded continues to push the victim mentality that so many dealing with the effects of having an A in their life take on. I was not a victim. I made choices that led me to marry an A. I made choices that led me to stay married. I made choices that led me to leave and then divorce my exAH. The only part that I could not change was my xAH's behaviors and issues. Everything else that happened was to one degree or another the result of what I did or did not choose to do for myself.