Great replies
Wow - this aint easy, but it is great.
I am slowly realizing that I really was far more of a co-dependent than I ever realized. I love her so much taht I was willing to overlook her shortcomings as if they were biting her nails or not putting the cap back on the toothpaste, while in reality, I was just allowing her to think that all was well when it was not.
My intentions were good, but I am sure now I stalled her recovery.
It still hurts but I am slowly beginning to learn why she needed time away. I still miss her and wish we were together, but the prospect of a HEALTHY us is what i REALLLLLLY want and this is the only road to that.
I would have accepted the half of her I was getting b/c I love her so much and was willing to accept that, but I realize now that that would not have been fair to me, and she never would have had and reason to get better if he who was closest to her was just telling her she was fine all the time, when in fact she knew deep down she was not.
I really am gonna get "stuck in" now and hit it hard and really get better myself in an effort to either help me, or hopefully help US in the future. I hate so say it almost, but this realization of hers could end up being one of the best things ever not just for her but for me too.
Wow - you guys are great and I am sure the ups and downs will continue, as will my questions, but keep the tips coming. I read and cherish them all!