Steam…..
1. What exactly do you mean by "my recovery" - is this the idea of recovering from needing her or wanting her? OR is it more trying to understand what she is going through? I am going to an Al Anon mtg. tomorrow night, and ordered one of the books reccomended, but as of yet am not really sure how to start or tackle this.
Recovery to me is an
on going process of growth for myself-self change and reclaiming myself to have a more peaceful and serene life. To reclaim my life as it is meant to be lived on
my terms-free from chaos that I have had most of my life.
2. How do I deal with the following: in the past, after a "normal" breakup, I was usually OK, even if "dumped", b/c it was closure, and I could just compartmentalize it and move on. This situation (us apart as she tries to get better and the total not knowing/fear that we may or may not get bck together) scares the hell out of me. I am finding that uncertainty really terrifying, and the lack of control I have over it really really tough.
When change takes place IMHO it is full of fear from the unknown-When something
Is in limbo such as this it is hard because we feel helpless-In order to move past
this feeling and try to understand that if it is meant to be it will…we need to work
on
ourselves and it is only then we can conquer this fear and live life-
3. Being that she never once wronged me, it is hard to move on. It is not like any part of our realtionship was something I didnt like, so it is hard to even kind of be glad that we are apart. I just miss her terribly. Any tips on this?
So you enjoy the fact that she is drinking?
4. I know only she can recover. But, at the very least, what should someone who at least wants to "up the odds" of someday getting back together do to make that a reality. ON my end, what should I do - I am thinking the following: Al Anon, maybe check out some AA meetings, read up on all of it and be ready when (I hope) she calls again at some point. How does this sound? Any other tips?
Exactly you got it! Now stop talking and just start doing
5. Finally - I feel guilty that I never did so much of the above before. She may have been doing her recovery "half-assed", but I now realize that I was only doing my part "half assed" as well. Bums me out.
Be bummed…..act mad get glad and get over it and now go full force with your
recovery and become the best possible person that you can for
YOU!
Sending you positive vibes as I know that you are hurting however you will come
to a happier place in your life-it just takes a bit of work and remember you are worth it!
Eleanor Roosevelt:
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.