Another newbie
Hey everyone! I am new to this community, although I have been reading so many of the posts which have helped me so much through the past couple of weeks. Let me give you a little background. I have been married to my AH for 1 1/2 years. I work in a church and so because of my beliefs, would not live with AH before the wedding. The second night of our honeymoon, I knew there was a problem. AH is addicted not only to alcohol, but to Hydrocodone and Klonopin as well. I did not know this before I married him, because like so many addicts, he was very good at hiding it from me. I know so many here have experienced the verbal abuse, lies, fear, and the feeling that you were going insane. I've experienced that too. AH is in deep denial right now and of course, he doesn't believe that he needs help, so last night I asked him to leave. I've told him in no uncertain terms that his being intoxicated is NOT acceptable. He has every right to drink and take pills whenever he likes and as often as he likes. But not while living with me. The codie in me just can't handle it and I don't like who I am while in that situation. He's making arrangements now to move down with a family member. My biggest problem now is the codie guilt I'm feeling even though I know that it's the right thing for both of us. Of course he's trying to manipulate me and make me feel even worse, so I could really use some words of encouragement right now. I can't stop crying and at times it seems unbearable. I am currently attending Al-anon and counselling, but unfortunately, those resources aren't available to me late at night when I'm feeling the worst. I'm really glad that I found this board. I look forward to reading your comments.