Welcome VerySad
Your story is like so many others here... including mine. This is my story of being married to a functional alcoholic.
I met my husband in college where heavy drinking was the norm... however, after we got married surprisingly he rarely drank and then only when we have friends over. We both worked hard at our careers and getting settled... but after about 7 years we moved to a neighborhood where the husbands ALWAYS had a few beers every night after work, and he joined in ... and that was the beginning of my AH's downhill spiral over the next 25 years. At first it was only drinking a few nights a week and weekends .. then he drank increasingly more on week nights and started hiding it from me. There were more and more incidents of outrageous behavior. Eventually, he would drink a couple of beers in my presence and then go out on errands to get more or drink beer he had hidden in the garage... unfortunately, this went on for years before I found actual proof how much he was abusing and hiding alcohol - even though I had suspected it for years.
My AH was very functional during the day and worked long hard hours for many years successfully developing our own business .... but in the last 10 years, he no longer could restrict his drinking to just the evenings and started drinking during office hours. I had already been overwhelmed by his bizarre behavior in the evenings and weekends ... like you, I didn't even feel comfortable leaving our kids alone with him and worried how his erratic behavior would impact them. His drinking grew worse.... with an occasional improvement with promises to change... only to secretly start the drinking along with the irrational behavior all over again. His business decisions grew sloppy and careless ... and eventually his health began to fail and he could no longer work, leaving me with numerous bills to pay and having to take over his job on top of mine on very short notice ... as well as being a single parent to our 2 sons. He couldn't stop drinking and eventually became almost helpless ... a far cry from the man I married who could do the work of 4 people. Sadly, he deteriorated quickly ... both his mind and body were failing ... and he ended up losing his life to alcohol.
This was the tragic end to the life of a once functional alcoholic.