Thanks everyone. You're all such a great source of support! :ghug2
I am still living with my AH but I do have a deadline for getting our house ready to put on the market (end of August). It needs quite a lot of paint to get it ready to sell in an uncertain housing market. Once it is sold I can move on. I've been working hard on my detachment but I do slip up every so often. Sometimes without realising it... I keep having sneaky thoughts that if my AH improves by then we might have a future together! Its hard to let go of 18 years together so sometimes I play the wait and see game while still preparing to leave. So as well as my codie ways I sometimes feel like I'm developing a multiple personality disorder!!
Thanks for letting me vent.