I know those hours well
I have been there and go there today also
Remember H.A.L.T.
hungary
angry
lonely
tired
After 20 years of drinking and not taking care of yourself,maybe you should consider trying to get meals at regular times,and sleep at regular times.Get some "physical order" back into your life.Get to feeling better physically is a good idea.
In the early days of AA newcomers was taught HALT as one of the first things.If you do not feel good physically,it will affect the rest of your body,meaning your mental state.If I am too tired,I won`t work on the program,or go to meetings,I`ll get drunk eventually because I won`t feel like doing anything.I drank for the effect,so my alcoholic mind took me back to the things that brought relief.
I made 65 meetings my first 90 days.I was also working on the steps in the Big Book.I stayed home several days a week,during the week, and started being a sober member of the family.
Another consideration is getting a sponsor and getting into the solution,the steps in the book.It`s the steps I take,not the meetings I make that determines if I get sober and stay sober.Meetings are a part of the equation for me too,but I need not neglect the steps.
if you want to stay sober bad enough,and get a sponsor and get busy in the book,4 or 5 meetings a week will do fine in my experience