Kiwi, I have been in your position in the last 30 days. My husband has been out of work and drinking for the past 6 months. About 3 weeks ago I asked him to leave the house, and I stuck to my guns and didn't back down. He went to his parent's house for two weeks. Several times he called and asked to come home other times he called and told me he was coming home. Each time I told him I was not ready to have him back unless he joined a program for his drinking. After two weeks I agreed to let him come home even though he did not agree to join a program - but he did agree not to drink and to get a job. He has been home for two weeks and he has not been drinking. He is looking for a job although not at the pace I would like. We have had a few fun times and a few agruments.
I don't know where things are going from here but I do know that something has shifted inside me and in our relationship. I pray that he is able to get his life back together but it doesn't feel essential to me anymore. I guess I will be ok if he gets his life together or not.
I hope this encourages you to take some action if you feel you are ready. I should tell you that I have been struggling with this problem for 18yrs and only now have taken effective action. But during that time period I was getting stronger to make myself heard. I wish you the strength and insight you need right now. take good care...