Here are some questions to ask ourselves or discuss in our groups to assist us in proceeding with making our amends.
Which people on my list do I need to make direct amends to first? What’s stopping me?
How can I plan what I am going to say in my direct amends to be clear and concise and to avoid blaming any other person?
What doubts do I have about my amends injuring someone? Can I discuss these doubts with my sponsor? Pray to be guided? Write about them?
What are my motives for making amends? Am I willing to accept the outcome, whatever it may be?
What is the difference between an apology and making amends? Which amends will be best done by changes in my behavior?
How can I be sure I am not just ducking an embarrassing situation?
What amends am I putting off? Why?
Do I have any amends to make that could result in serious consequences for my family, like loss of employment or a prison term? How can I use my sponsor or a trusted friend to help me sort these things out?
Who on my amends list will never be available for direct amends? Can I make amends in another way? Can I do something for another person?
What harm have I done to my children or immediate family? Can I make some amends by respecting them now as adults?
Am I willing to pray to become willing to make amends in the future?
How can I forgive myself for all the difficulties I have caused myself? What can I do this week to begin my amends to myself?
Could I write an amends letter to myself?
When I have finished this action step, what can I do to celebrate? Have I remembered to appreciate and reward my good deeds? The good deeds of others?