When I get caught up in someone else's behavior, I now know it's an obvious signal for me to return to step 1. A big part of my work on this step has also been learning about and practicing Detachment.
There's a good section on detachment in, _How Al-Anon Works..._. On pg 84 it says, "Detachment is one of the most valuable techniques Al-Anon offers those of us who seek to reclaim ourselves. Simply put, detachment means to separate ourselves emotionally and spiritually from other people.
"If someone we love had the flu and cancelled plans with us, most of us would understand. We wouldn't take it personally or blame the person for being inconsiderate or weak. Instead, in our minds, we would probably separate the person from the illness, knowing that it was the illness, rather than our loved one, that caused the change of plans. This is detachment. And we can use it to see alcoholism in the same compassionate yet impersonal way...."
Although I've been in Al-Anon a long time (found it 18 years ago) and have had a sponsor over three years, I continue to learn new things, important insights about step 1 and all the others. Areas I need to work on continually come to light.
As I gain clarity and work closely with healthy Al-Anon friends, I begin to reclaim parts of my self I didn't realize I'd given away, parts I've lost and taken up my own destructive addictions to replace them in the meantime. Now I have my own addictions to erradicate in addition to changing old patterns.
Concentrated working of the steps with the assistance of others in the program to keep me on track is slowly but surely working a transformation within me. I am healthier each day because of it. ...