Hi BigSister
I'm not sure if my post here will help you at all but for what it's worth -
When I get the anxiety or panic, what happens to me is that it feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest, and while that big weight is on there, I can't think clearly, everything is "worst case", I anticipate the next shoe to drop, etc. and I go to all sorts of places in my head - but no place that is clear or sane.
What I did was go to our local pharmacy that is a western pharmacy but also does "natural" stuff - all kinds, and talked to someone there that I know and trust and she gave me some natural tabs that, for me, work like a charm. I'm very sensitive to most meds, etc. and Dr. wanted to throw some Xanax at me and I didn't want to do that. This stuff doesn't upset my tum, or make me spacey, tired, or wired or anything, but somehow after a day the elephant was gone and so long as I keep taking them he's gone and I can think clearly. Doesn't mean I don't worry or any of that, but, again for me it was that heavy weight on my chest that made my thinking go really out of whack, beyond what this situation naturally brings.
So that's my suggestion, for what it's worth, if you have something like that in your area and someone you would trust to maybe try something that's not a perscription first for yourself.
It's such a difficult situation already, just make sure that you do what you need to for you and YOU are comfortable with it, whether it's an extra walk, Rx, hot baths, etc.
Big hugs to you!