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Old 06-03-2008, 12:08 PM
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laurie6781
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
 
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Yeah, tell him his sorry azz could have gotten the kids taken away.

Florida Children's Service does NOT LOOK KINDLY on drug paraphernalia in a child's bathroom.

There now that I got that out, in reality, especially with children in thehouse, you need to set some boundaries and stick with them.

How do you figure out what boundaries to set and how to keep them.

Try some Alanon or Naranon. I say Alanon because usually there are more Alanon meetings at more times in any area than there are Naranon meetings.

Be mindful that telling what he can and what he can not do won't get anywhere per se. Instead, you have to decide what is and is not acceptable FOR YOU.

ie

"I cannot have any paraphenalia in this house or drugs because of the children. If you persist than (such and such) will have to happen.

Now "such and such" can be him leaving, or you taking the children and leaving or something in between.

However, and this is where Alanon comes in so well. You have to learn how to stand by the boundaries you are setting.

Alanon is very helpful in so many ways. And over the years I have found what I learned there to be most helpful in most facets of my life. Be it with a partner, at a job, in line at the grocery store, etc.

Don't forget the 3 C's:

You didn't CAUSE it,

You can't CONTROL it, and

You can't CURE it.

By setting boundaries you are not 'controlling' you are simply stating what you will and will not tolerate. Your health and your children's health is of utmost importance.

J M H O

Please keep posting and let us know how YOU and the kids are doing, we do care, so very much.

Love and hugs,
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