It is sooooooo difficult isn't it? I was able to let go of the past and move forward only when I was ready......
And it took several very very heavy and difficult counselling sessions with my AH and I.....however it is so worth it as we are on a much happier road now and I am so glad we got there.
It took alot of honesty and really looking at myself and it was very difficult - work through it and you may also find you really can put it where it belongs and move forward.
I wish you the very best - kindest Phiz