No lectures, Sailor. I gave my exhusband a bundle of outs in our relationship. You didn't cause this woman to have all the problems she has. You didn't raise her. You are just a guy who tried to have a relationship with her and it didn't work. I have been listening to Anvilhead say a lot about it truly being "okay" when two people realize they just aren't right for each other. It's not the end of the world, just two people who came together for a while and then parted ways.
Is the van in your name (I can't remember) cause that would make me want to take it back long ago with an alcoholic driver. That's mere self-protection, not being cruel. If YOU don't take care of yourself starting today, who is going to? Just like WE have talked of nurturing and loving the little girl inside of us, protecting that little soul like we would a little girl in our home or in public, you need to realize that you have your own little guy inside who is wanting to be nurtured by love. Learn to love yourself, Sailor. Take care of your spirit, and take care of your connections to an alcoholic that could really bring you down in your own recovery. This is YOUR life and you get to call the shots when it affects you. There is nothing unfair about that. Good luck with your plan. I feel a little hesitant about the sneaking the keys thing, but it's been a long while since I've had to deal with a drunk so my judgment doesn't matter. You do it however you can in order to keep yourself safe and in as much serenity as possible.