new here
I hope this is the right place to come to, it's strange even posting anything, it feels like some sort of a weird violation of privacy somehow, I've kept quiet for so long. but I need somewhere to let it all out. I searched google for "wives of alcoholics support" and this was one of the results....
My husband has been sober for one week, hopefully it will last this time. I'm feeling very depressed, and there seems to be so much distance between us, obviously. I won't go into all of the gory details leading up to today, because anyone who has lived it already knows about "rock bottom". I'm worried about so many things. I don't know what the future holds.
I'm thankful that he is trying, but am also worried about so many things...
I'm worried that he will start up again, and ironically, I'm worried that our marriage won't survive sobriety (since the only thing I've ever known was the opposite) although I know it wouldn't survive any more drinking. I have distanced myself so much from him in the past, out of necessity, trying to shield the kids, coming to terms with being "alone" in the house, trying to think one step ahead, and now that he has a clear head he sees it and keeps asking me "whats wrong?" But I don't want to make him feel bad by going into why, then he may feel discouraged and start drinking again.
He doesn't have any interest is being affectionate with me in the tiniest degree, he says it's because he just quit, and that it's normal. Is it?
He didn't go to a formal recovery program, he just up and stopped cold turkey, joined a new gym and is spending hours a day there, saying that is his recovery, which I hope. Now, I wonder, how do the rest of us recover? I can't go to alanon, too many kids, no babysitter. What now? whats next?