Originally Posted by
strongerwoman 
so, my AH just emailed me a horrible, horrible email, he has never spoken to anyone in his life the way he just did to me.
Delete this email, or move it to a folder labeled TOXIC so you don't have to see it right now. Lean into your nurses training. Recent events have without question affected the synaptic, neural interconnections in your head. You have a brain injury as real as if you had received a concussion. Every time you see this stuff, you re-injure your brain. Our wounds won't heal if we pick at them. There is a rule many of us find helpful: NO CONTACT -- not with AH, not with GF, not with mother.
Basically I am a worthless piece of crap, I've never done anything for our marriage or children, and that he is done wasting the best years of his life on someone who has never given anything back.
One of my counselors taught me to start with one of my mother's letters, take every occurrence of the word "you", replace it with the word "I", and reread the letter. Wow, that was eye-opening. It made the letter sound like a confessional. Which is what it really was all along. Whenever we start sentences with the word "you," we run a big risk of engaging in the psychological process known as projection, where we ascribe to others that which is occurring inside of us. I notice a lot of your sentences start with the word "you" as well...
I make a conscious effort to start my sentences with the word I to help me stay out of projection, unless I'm projecting something positive like "You are a beautiful person." I am violating my own rule somewhat in this message in order to interrupt your train of thought.
His email is terrific information about himself. It is not about you. You are a terrific person. Do not accept his projections.
And none of it makes any sense to me, its all a huge slap in the face.
He has a disease, it has affected his mind. The addiction is driving his thoughts in such a way as to protect his continued using. This won't change until he is in recovery. Even then, he may not make sense to you. That's OK. It is a good sign that he doesn't make sense anymore. It takes some of us a while to get to that point.