Marle,
As always, lots of good advise above...
I understand how you feel. I also fought very hard for and found my own serenity when both of my children were deep into their addictions. I was at peace with my life (and their own lives)
When "my Meghan" finally went in to rehab this past January, it was also a decision that she made on her own. When we would talk, I would basically just listen.... I made lots of the appropriate sounds… nodded my head ... cried.... I really did not tell her too much - I just kept telling her that I loved her and that I all I wanted was for her to be happy.
I just could not, or would not, risk letting go of my new found serenity.
Maybe it was the fear of loosing it again - maybe that it why I remained a little aloof from her.
I did write her one letter (as instructed by her counselor) telling her how her addiction had hurt me over the years. But, that was the extent of my honesty during her stay in rehab.
As My Meghan is approaching her almost 6 months sober date,
I am so looking forward to "talking" to her again.
But, I will continue to remind myself, if only for today…
Hope that helps a little,
Good Luck to you and "your Megan"
She is lucky to have you as a mother.
Hugs,
Colleen