You know
I don't know whether this will help but I actually have saved some nasty messages on my mobile that my ex sent me during an outburst. I read them over if I am feeling weak -
It reminds me "I do not deserve to be hurt / spoken to this way".
Maybe I'm weird - the nasty messages don't hurt me - they make me feel stronger. I had to delete all the loving messages - they - are the ones that rip me apart.
As your name suggests - Stay strong x x x