Hi folks, I'm unfortunately a high bottom functional drunk. By definition I mean that I function normally (employment, financial responsibilities, family responsiblities, don't get abusive when drinking, basically from the outside, you would never know I'm the drunk that I really am. I've had many friends fall all around me from drinking with all the usual consequences of loss of jobs, loss of families, jailtime, DUI's, horrendous legal costs, etc. I know my time will eventually come. I'm having a great deal of difficulty convincing myself to do what I know I must do. With smoking it was easier because it actually began to physically hurt my lungs, head, heart, etc. With the alcohol sure I feel bad the next morning, feel guilty that I was so selfish as to get drunk, feel guilty that I've broken my fellowship with God, spent money I really should not have. But by the afternoon, the bad consequences of the night before have all but faded. I KNOW intellectually that this has to stop, however it's not a heartfelt knowledge. How can I get it out of my head and into my heart. I don't want to be just another statistic, but left to my own devices, I will be. Like actors ask "what's my motivation" besides the obvious. HELP!!!
