HI Holly!
Relapses are common in early recovery. It doesn't mean the war is over. Just look at how much trouble YOU are having letting go. Do you think giving up an addictive substance is easier?
You are absolutely right to leave an alcoholic lying in his own vomit. People should face the natural consequences of their actions, not have someone come behind them and clean it up.
It is impossible to know where "the bottom" is going to be for another person. Your husband will only be able to quit when his motivation is strong enough. I know exactly how maddening it is that the difficulties the drinking has caused his family is not motivation enough.
You did the best thing. You controlled yourself and let your anger out here. Applause!
Hugs,
Smoke