Gail, good to see you posting again.
I am thankful that you have decided it is time to leave. Too many women wind up dead or seriously injured because they were not able to make the decision to leave an abusive partner.
You said that victims services is of no help where you live. Is there maybe a womens shelter near you? Even if it is in another town it may help, in fact it being in another town might be to your benefit as it will put you farther out of his reach. I don't know if they are listed in the phone book or not but you might try an internet search if they aren't. I think victims services should have a list of phone numbers for shelters. Many times shelters will help you find work, give you a place to live, and help you get a new start on life.
You are stronger than you realize. After years of abuse we tend to start believing that we are weak and can not do it on our own. Please remember that is what the abusers want you to believe. They try to break your spirit and keep you beleiving you are worthless and weak so you will stay with them and they will have someone to abuse. You have made the first step in deciding to leave. That is a huge one. As you continue to take steps you will start to see you are strong and capable. I look forward to hearing about your growth and progress. Keep up the good work.
By the way, yes, staying on the wagon would be a good idea but what is truly important right now is to get in a safe environment then you can start working on you. Sometimes in life it is best to take one step at a time, especially when we are beat up and tired. You may even find that quitting drinking is easier once you are out of the abuse and have a little more confidence.
Remeber each of us here at SR are rooting for you. I believe in you and know you can get through this. I am proud of you for the willingness to reach out and get away from the abusive relationship. Be sure to keep us posted.:ghug