Good for you for going through the sessions; even though it is painful it will help you heal in the long run.
One thing I love about al-anon is that when the old negative habits/voices in my head start creeping up, I can remember what I've learned and rewrite the old scripts in my head. So even when I'm feeling REALLY bad, I know I can read my literature, say my serenity prayer, call an al-anon friend, or come here to read or write about it. I don't have to stay in my old negative place because I know there is a happier, more peaceful place I can get to if I work hard enough to get there. I hope you find that place for yourself too.