The doctor had given a lecture earlier in the week on the Lizard Brain. He explained how the brain of the alcoholic and addict responded differently than that of non-addict brains to the consumption of large quantities of intoxicants over time. There is a portion of the human brain, he told us, that is evolutionarily very old and similar in structure and function to the brain of reptiles. This part of our brain accounts for primitive responses such as fight or flight. He diagrammed receptors and spoke of mysterious multi-syllabic neurotransmitters. We were informed that in our genetically flawed brains, the effect of intoxicants produced an unmanageable irregularity in the levels of dopamine, a ubiquitous chemical that plays a central role in our experience of feeling-states such as pleasure and anxiety. This explains, he said, the compulsion of the alcoholic or addict to consume more and more in a futile effort to return their dopamine levels to unsustainably high levels. It also accounts for the unbearable feelings of despair and discomfort we feel when deprived of our drugs. I welcomed this knowledge at the time. It relieved me of a profound sense of inadequacy I had over my inability to control my drinking. It told me that it was not my entire being that was responsible for my insane, self-destructive behavior, but only a little part of me. My lizard brain.