Day 32 check in ....Tomorrow's the day...
that I find out if my 20 year career with my employer is over. Its been hard waiting these last 32 days to find out....massive cravings and fear....guilt, shame, remorse...but I'm trying to practice acceptance...trying to stay in today and deal with things as they come...rather than projecting and spiraling out of control about a future I can't predict. Of course my predictions are all negative, all doom and gloom, all fear based. I am scared...of what I don't really know. Its hard to stay centered in what I can change...rather than what I can't. I just feel like I let everybody down...all the people who rely on me and my income....come to think of it, I've always felt "less than"...thats all I ever feel, really.