It's all hellish...vodka, drugs, beer, whatever takes you down the path of active addiction. I chose my own bottom, for me it was being broke and worrying about paying my bills and possible getting discovered at work and being fired. The point is, you don't have to find out how low you can go!!! You don't have to...you don't have to...you really don't have to get any lower than you are today, right now. Get help, go to an addictionologist, a detox, an e.r., AA, NA whatever you have to do, call somebody, get help. Let us know how it goes.
kj