Hey Diane...I am so sorry that you are still struggling so and that your son is too. Missed you around here...Hope you keep checking in!
I sometimes find it tough to stay focused on not letting my child's "stuff" be the measurement of my own happiness. I know that is why I have to keep my recovery journey front and center...I can just feel myself slipping when I miss a meeting or 2 or I am occuppied with things that keep me away from here.
Maybe I am just an optimist, but I actually saw hope in your post. You asked him a question and he answered honestly! Maybe he is shedding a bit of the addict manipulation game. I know it wasn't what you wanted to hear, but it was truthful. If he is not in denial, maybe he is getting closer to being both ready and willing. Hugs