For me, coming into AA as a firmly grounded agnostic, I didn't worry too much about the God thing. Honestly, that was the least of my worries. I just needed some help to stay sober. When I got to Step 3, I agreed that I was willing to believe in a power greater than myself. Oh yes I was. Where had not believing in that got me? So I was willing to admit that I wasn't the end all and be all.
So without worrying about who/what/whatever this higher power is, I've allowed , by being willing and opening myself up to the opportunity, a very blurry concept of a higher power to find me. I couldn't explain just what it is to you if I tried. But, it's something and it's personal.
Could you try to find a sponsor and keep an open mind and see where that leads you?