I spent too much time over analyzing this when we got home last night. I worked in restaurants all thru high school and college, so I know what it's like. I also know that people come in expecting a certain quality of food and service - that's what they are paying for!
What surprised me is the strength of my reactions: I didn't want the confrontation, I just wanted a nice dinner out. I didn't want the waitstaff to be angry ( and maybe spit in the food? yuk) I didn't want them to think we were those people who always complain and always get a free meal. BUT I know better than to be in someone else's head! I gave up being a mind-reader years ago.
Thanks for your responses. It's helping me to process this and get a laugh or two!