Cats - set your bounderies and detach with love. Yes, you even have to have bounderies with restraunts. There is acceptable and non-acceptable service. There is some room for being a little slow or occasionally a messed up order, but if you don't step up and require your order be correct and warm and timely, then how the heck is that cook or waitress or manager going to learn from their mistakes?
More importantly, why would you still feel the desire to go back and apologize to them? Could you be "taking on" other peoples problems and carrying them yourself? Or do you really just hate confrontation.
Your restraunt trip can give you huge insights as to what is going on with you and what you deserve. I think it's kind of cool that you recognize that deep inside a codie still resides and has to be delt with every day. One day at a time.
On the other hand, sometimes, we have had so much confrontation and stress in our lives, that we would rather just avoid any hint of anything that reminds us of that stress. Just letting it go, and moving on. Even at our own expense.
Only you can analize what that trip really means about your recovery. It would actually be pretty interesting to know how most codies would handle it.
Me, I send food that is wrong back. I've been known to stand up and walk out, after letting the manager know in a very nice polite way, why. I don't get nasty about it, I just don't take it. Lately, though, I have let little things slide, it just wasn't worth me stressing over any more.
B