I don't know if this will help you- and I myself am struggling with whether or not to make THE decision (stay or leave)- I am by no means an expert on relationships; however I think in your case the first thing you must consider is the effect of everything on your children- even though they love their Daddy, is it healthy for them to hear a man talk to a woman that way?? How will that effect their own self esteem in the future, when they're grown up? Also, is it a good idea to have a gun in the house, A or no A, especially with children??- Have you considered buying a locking thing for it and YOU keep the key, or a lock for the gun cabinet and YOU keep the key? Maybe you can find family counseling for the children so they can hear from someone else that Daddy is sick and that they can't be with Daddy until he is better. Good luck to you and keep posting................MK