Hello Savy D!
Welcome to the recovery forum!
Where do you start? How about an alanon meeting? That 's where you will learn that there is nothing you can do to help him. You didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it. You can, however, help yourself and your girls with a new attitude. I would urge you to spend some time in meetings, or at least reading alanon literature... keeping up with this page and the naranon page on this site... for a little while. It sounds like you may be trying to make yourself make a decision before you are ready. Sometimes the choice is clear. It was for me and I drop kicked my A before I ever heard of this board. Sometimes it's hard to figure out where you would be losing the most.
If you're in a big hurry, here's a simple test. Assume he is never going to change. Can you continue to live like this forever?
It's okay to change your mind, too. For awhile I said "I can hack it, I can hack it." Then woke up one day and said "no, I can't."
Keep posting!
Smoke