Where do I start?
I have been with my A for the last 8 years. Things have gone from bad to worse in a matter of years. According to my husband everything is my fault. I've taken him to AA meetings in the past at his request. I signed him up for counseling, we went once. He admits he has a problem but says I do nothing to help him. He calls me by every name in the book except for my real name. He starts drinking by 4 every day and I pray for the time he passes out every night. It's usually by 9. I've threatened to leave several times. I've gone to a friends house a couple of times for the night and come home the next day. We have three young girls who hear everything he says to me. I hate having them in this situation but am too scared to go out on my own. They have often told relatives the things he says and that he makes me cry. They love their daddy very much and so do I, but I can't take it any more. I started to leave last week and had the children in the car screaming and crying because their dad told them I was taking them away from them and they would never see him again. If they had a problem with that, then it's your mom's fault. I drove around the block and came home. Help. What can I do? Where do I start? I'm tired of everyone in his family asking me what am I doing to help him. It's a known fact by his whole family he is an A. It runs in his family. 2 Uncles and 1 Aunt. He watced one die from alcoholism but it doesn't faze him. Neither does a DWI. I'm afraid he will hurt himself if I walk out the door and don't look back. We once struggled over a gun because he said if I left he would kill himself. I often hide the gun and put it in different places. Sorry if I ramble on, but I don't have anyone else to talk to.