Hi bonbon, Thanks for your imput. I was a little concerned about posting here. I have been hurt, and sadly I have hurt. I understand that many on this board are being hurt by alcoholism, and may feel a need to strike back. I am looking for a healing process that is complete and not just about me. I don't have the answers but, I have many of the same questions that those affected have, why do I, how could I etc. I have asked my wife to understand for many years about my alcoholism. It is my turn to understand the affects on her. For the first time in 14 years I sat down and listened about problems in her childhood. In the past I was only concerned about mine. Don W