Hi Scrubbs!
Welcome to the "right place"! I think you'll find you're amongst friends here who KNOW what you're going through.
My dad too was an alcoholic. He wasn't the violent type, but he was the drunk type. One thing I've learned is it doesn't really matter what other defects of character go along with the alcoholic's drinking, it still effects every member of the family in a deeply intimate way.
You've made a great step forward by deciding to stop trying to "fix" your dad and work on you instead. I agree with Smoke: meetings are a great idea and I highly recommend them. I just started going a few months ago myself. There is so much wisdom and healing in those meetings. Here's the link to the Al-Anon groups in the Tulsa area:
http://www.tulsa.org/alanon/
If you don't like the first meeting you go to, try another in another location until you find one that fits you.
Peace & Prayers
Heels
[This message has been edited by HellOn2Heels (edited February 25, 2002).]