If nothing changes, nothing changes.
He appears to be very keen on pointing out what you need to be doing in your recovery, when in fact, an alcoholic in recovery should be working on his/her own inventory and leaving everyone else's alone.
I have seen many an AA person twist the program to suit their selfish needs and try to beat their spouse up emotionally with selected tidbits from the program.
Just because they might not be drinking doesn't mean they are well.
My suggestion is to be true to yourself and trust your gut. You say this is a cycle with him, and you recognize that.
You always have the option of throwing letters in the trash without reading them.
I had to learn to do that with my mother when she'd get upset with me and was more than glad to send a letter stating my defects that I needed to work on.