I am sorry to say that I find people in recovery just as selfish as when they are drinking. The attention is always on them. We pray for them to stop drinking and if they do they seem to think that we are going to spend the rest of our lives happy to be saturated with their recovery. I know that most of us probably long for a normal life and this is why so many find such an overwhelming disappointment when the reality comes with working a program. In many ways their success AGAIN seems to hinge on our never ending willingness to stand behind the "alcohol".
I found myself expected to applaud every single day that my ex went without drinking. Just like a mommy hanging her kindergartners first picture on the fridge. Oh, yeah, nice job, whoopee! Good boy/bad boy?
Seems all it would take was for us to miss an atta boy and WE were the reason they failed. We werent supportive enough.
My brother-in-law is a real example. He is either committing felonies drunk or he is quoting Bible scripture. I can't stand him. he's creepy.
Somehow we think that if they quit drinking we will have a chance at a happy life.
My experience has been it's just one more facet of alcohol that is all about them.
My husband was drinking and I was at an alonon meeting. I thought, hey! what is wrong with this picture?
Sorry to sound so cynical but recovery has it's own issues. I was actually madder at my ex when he was in recovery than when he was drinking. He seemed to skim over the casualties he left along his trail.