I am very familiar with survivor's guilt, which is what geees just mentioned.
After I left my alcoholic/addict husband to pursue my own recovery, I felt a lot of guilt as he had gone through rehab before me, and he didn't stay clean/sober.
The bottom line is we are just not powerful enough to control someone else's destiny, even if that destiny is death.
The disease of alcoholism kills-it's either jails, institutions, or death in the end.
It was a real eye opener for me last year when my mother sent the obituary for my ex-husband almost a year ago. He was 47 years old.
I just hope that he is finally at peace, and there is not one single thing I could have done or said that was going to keep him from ending up dead.
I am so sorry for your loss. Grieving is a process, so please be gentle with yourself :ghug2