I have read both articles and shared the issue with my recovering ABF - Thanks so much for this, Cats (if you have more I would be interested, I will also try and get it from Alanon but in SA it is more difficult it seems)
As his disease was not too advanced and our relationship not too old (1.5 years) we had (and still have) no problems on the sexual side, however him and I both agree that there was definetely a mother-child issue, and in my opinion a strong partner issue (I am a strong person in general).
He now regains slowly self-confidence and as such becomes the adult, and in our relationship I must move to the adult role now (see Eric Berne's, TA model for more reading). I love to have a strong partner but am very well aware that I need to let go and stop controlling.
Our relationship has always been very honest (in general, I exclude dishonesty in conjunction with alcoholism prior recovery) and we discuss most issues very openly (I think this is one of the things I love about him).
So when both are able to express emotions, feelings and desires in an honest way I think emotional balance can be achieved which IMHO is important for a good sexual life. Of course other issues like spending time with each other are very important too. I have read in many threads that an A in recovery is only absorbed by just his recovery, going to AA/NA meetings, do step work etc. I think a balance can be achieved if wanted and openly communicated by both partners. I have asked my BF to do a schedule of all AA/NA meetings per day with alternatives, so we are able to have 1 or 2 evenings for ourselves and can have a bit of flexible social life as well, and he still can achieve 90/90. He was very happy with this and so am I. And I think through things like this, we will be able to have a succesful relationship