I can relate to every scenario - including the last one. I tried them all, none of them ever worked. But, he wasn't in recovery - still isn't, and I didn't know about the addiction at the time(s). Doesn't matter tho, it was still an issue, and it turns out, a valid one. But, for a while there, I allowed myself to be led to believe I was unreasonable and crazy that I didn't feel "loved". I now know that I had the right to my needs and feelings, and letting myself be convinced that I was unreasonable or crazy even for them was definitely not OK.
Reading that there are sooooo many others like me, enough that *my* scenarios (this one and countless others) are detailed in publications - somehow it's comforting. I felt so alone in my struggles for so long, and I obviously didn't need to be.
(((hugs)))
I learn so much from all of you! Thanks for sharing!