Absolutely Cats! Thanks!
This issue is one of my biggest issues in my marriage - well, lack thereof actually.
It wasn't just the sex - it was everything that went with it - we had none of it, no intimacey, no partnership, no laughter and no joy. If we had a healthier sex life, I do believe we would have had a healthier relationship. Without that connection, we're just room-mates. Why marry and tangle ourselves up trying to create a life together? That's what I couldn't figure out - I would ask him, "why are you married to me?" - I knew I was there to try and I wanted to have sex with my husband - he didn't, It left me feeling vulnerable, confused, unloved and ugly because he wouldn't look at me or touch me.
As a society, we do seem to find it uncomfortable to talk about, but never again will I avoid reaching out to my best friend, or some other trusted friend if I am feeling confused, hurt or anxious about something, including sex. I think if I had been more open and reached out, I would have had "reality" checks and feed-back for myself long ago that this is not normal behavior, this is not normal for a woman mid-30's to live sexless. I cried, begged, pleaded, straddled him naked - he looked around me to watch TV! I will never humiliate myself like that again either!
Oh this journey has taught me so much!
Thanks Cats -