OK, I'm back. For today I will try to "let go and let God" and perhaps be in a better place to look towards forgiveness.
AH is asleep now, and I have taken many deep breaths. I was tense because I know he doesn't like when I am online (he's jealous if you can believe it) so he interrupts and because I knew that one reason he kept talking to me was that he is taking Xanax to help him with the withdrawals....so its basically the pills talking. And that really bugs, to put it nicely.
Just thought this was all too ironic. When I began my first post, I was calm and thinking about how I haven't been angry with him for a while, and how maybe that meant I might be ready for forgiveness someday soon.....then he started. Hope I didn't go off topic too much
