Gail... be proud of yourself for reaching out for help. You are stronger than you think if you can reach out amid all of the turmoil you are feeling inside. I know what it is like to be ashamed and to try to hide. PLEASE, keep reaching out. There are people who are care and will be there for you, even when you are sure that there aren't. Sometimes, they are people you never knew before and somehow they appear when you need them. Really, I'm not nuts... I think about all the wonderful people here who have extended a hand to me and how much that has helped. It lead me to take other steps in my life and to reach out other places to get my life back.
You are strong. Put your energy there and get the help. Good thoughts and prayers to you.