dixied

Friends,

My son is in rehab (since Dec.) and it is a long term rehab. He seems to be okay but we visited him for the first time a few weeks ago. To me it seemed awkward. He is 32 and has been exposed to situations I never thought possible. And I know he is a different person because of these experiences..really someone I find it hard to connect with him at all. We talked about his impending divorce and what he needed or wanted done since he cannot make phone calls. Near the end of the conversation things became a little tense especially when I told him his actions had gotten him to this stage of life. He didn't like that and he sort of stood up and that was my "cue" to leave.
With that said I want to ask these questions.....
1. I feel very little connection to him. Is that normal? Some days I don't think of him at all.
2. I am not saying I don't love my son I just do not feel an attachment
right now. Has anyone else felt like that?
3. If we ever get to the point of his making amends what are some acceptable ways addicts make amends? He has done so much I don't even know where he'd begin. As far as my husband is concerned I don't think a simple I'm sorry will do it.
Right now my family is fractured by the actions of my son and I don't see anything improving. When he leaves rehab he will have no car, no job, no money, a lot of debt, no place to stay, a divorce in process.......so how can he possibly succeed with all that stacked up on his plate? I am just wondering about a lot of things........
I know they say take it one day at a time but this is the reality of what he is facing and none of this is going to change. Oh and add to it that he has medication he MUST take and that is $200 a month and he has no insurance.
Just seems like a bleak picture............. if there are any thoughts on my ramblings I'd appreciate it..........dixied