Katie
i am so sorry for all that you are going through....
no matter what my son did during his active days, I always saw my child hidden somewhere inside...i think that's how you feel when you contemplate his phone call....
you are doing the right thing by following through with consequences.....his actions were serious and serious consequences are appropriate (and just may save him)
as far as speaking to him....do what is in your heart.....I know if it were me I'd speak to him if only to say "I love you son but can no longer accept the things you are doing"
hugs and prayers from one mom to another