Welcome to SR. I can relate to your pattern of drinking. For a long time I could not accept I had a problem because I did not drink every day or when I did drink every day I would be able to stop or a short period. This went on for over twenty years. It always got harder to stop. It got to the point where life was becoming one continuous binge. If you are an alcoholic (and only you can answer that) it is only a matter of time before it progresses to a degree not unlike mine or many others. You are young and could have a long, healthy, and happy life ahead of you. Keep posting and keep an open mind.