((Lobo))
You have been through so much. You've not only hurt yourself, but you have hurt for your daughter. You've taken on a load for her. Please don't be hurt by what I'm about to say. It is only what I "see".
You have thrown yourself in front of the train to try to make things easier for her, better for her. Done out of love, but also out of your own feelings of wanting to make up to her for horrible things that happened to her. So you have sacraficed your life, your happiness. She doesn't see it, or appreciate it. She just uses it.
I believe that everything you have gone through with her to this point, was meant to happen just the way it did, for both of you. She needed you and you really needed her to walk through problems beyond addiction. But what needed to be done, has been done, the next step is painfull but it is also a growing step. You both have different paths that you need to follow. She needs to make her mistakes, so she can learn from them first hand, and grow from them. Even without addiction involved, she will never learn by being told, she has to experience it herself. Cutting those apron strings can feel like cutting off your own arms.
You though Lobo, have a life of your own. One that is not based soley on your kids. You have hopes and dreams that you have stuffed down so deep, it is hard to even remember them. But it is time my friend. It is time to start remembering. It is time to start looking at the things in your life that you need. The healing that you need apart from your daughter. The attention that your very own heart and soul needs. Your dreams need to blossom again.
I love you dearly Lobo. I feel a special connection to you and your daughter. I think you deserve a wonderful beautiful colorful life, with laughter and peace. It's time to turn all that sacrafice and attention onto yourself. You deserve it.
Hugs and Prayers
B