Keep Fighting
I know oh so well the situation of having multiple addictions. Trading off on addictions.I have done it with food, sex, shopping, alcohol, pills, cocaine, and others.I couldn't see life without some kind of compulsion.It was like the thing I focused on was my relief.It got me out of my thoughts, and let me just melt into the moment.
I remember staring at the phone , wanting to stop myself from making the call to score pills.That life consumed me.I could not go anywhere without pills.It sucked so bad.I tried so many times to quit.I had quit just about everything else on my own, but the pills- Well, they had me completely absorbed.I could not quit, the physical sickness was too much to bare.
I finally accepted defeat, and got into a treatment program.I take Suboxone for opiate addiction, it has been over six months.I cannot believe I have been clean and sober-from everything.I learned how to not obsess over anything and face the reasons why I was slowly destroying my body and mind.It has been a very extreme and challenging experience.I have made so many changes in my life, changes that needed to be made for a lifetime.I just do whatever the recovery process asks of me, and I do it honestly.
No, I don't always want to do what is needed to stay this way.Sometimes I flat out hate the process, but I always find that once I follow through, something really awesome happens inside of me.It is hard to explain, but I always wind up being glad I made the choice to keep moving forward.
If you ever need to talk, or want any suggestions to get you started on living life without the insanity of addiction, feel free to contact me. Someone does understand not wanting to do certain things to stay sober, I am sure we all feel that way at times, but those are the times when we need to do what is necessary to stay sober the most.I have never regretted pushing myself to do something for my recovery.You won't either.